Reflecting on an experience of bouncing back
What happened?
How did I feel?
What helped me bounce back?
What would I like to remind myself about this so I can be most resilient?
Reflecting on an experience of bouncing back
What happened?
How did I feel?
What helped me bounce back?
What would I like to remind myself about this so I can be most resilient?
Re-silient
re-seal
re-salient
re-start
re-silly
re-silt
re-silent
re-lenient
the worst
that can happen is the exact opposite
of one’s dream, that picture
framed behind one’s forehead
it might be a long shot,
but the picture is large, high definition,
framed behind tempered glass
resistent to hurricane and earthquake.
He would ultimately
love me, the longing I felt
stretched beyond any horizon in front
or behind. A broad river
with no ocean in sight.
Anything, any part of myself
could be, would be willingly
laid down into that river
sacrificed for the picture
to come into focus:
real, lived, touchable. Then
one night, me in an upper college bunk,
him in the lower one, having smuggled
me in, when his roommate was away,
he told me he could not decide
what to desire
and only desired other men.
I snuck out, drove home 100 miles
before he woke, went upstairs,
just a word or two to my Mom,
went back east and found,
demonstrating against a war
in the capital, that I could hardly speak.
Shutting down, the picture
without a home now
was shutting down my brain.
I phoned a friend with a remote cabin,
asked her to leave me there.
Occupied with November’s task
of building fire, cooking food,
keeping warm, and eating,
not having to speak
I realized I had spent my first 20 years
grooming my intellect. My parents,
teachers had combed it smooth.
It was time to give as much attention
to my heart, to my perceptions,
my dreams that had misled me
so badly. Back from the cabin
I asked the only person I knew
who was smart and happy
if there was any connection
between the way he was
and his meditating.
Looking up from his granola,
he said, “Yes,” and resumed chewing.
I started Transcendental Meditation
reclaimed my emotional world,
knitted my mind and heart together,
found an oasis of calm
good enough for any storm.